Journals19
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1 min read
I feel so nervous right now... freya went to the bar around eight to go to the bar with my grandpa and when joe came home around 12 he was pissed she was gone and through a fit about it.... he left but idk where he went. I think he might've gone to hot shots to get my aunt freya but idk. I hope nothing happens when they come home because if he puts his hands on her im going to fucking kill him! Right in front of the kids! idgaf anymore!!!
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The Questions I Ask Myself Every Night!
2 min read
Why do i do terrible thingy to myself?
Why am i such a horrible person?
How come every time i care for someone they shoot me down?
What's the point of me living in life?
Why can't i get up the courage to kill myself?
Whats wrong with me?
Why can't i let go of my haunting past?
why can't anyone see me self torture?
How come I try for everyone else, but no one tries for me?
Why do so many people believe in love?
How come I always think bad thoughts about my loved ones?
Why was I beaten when I was younger?
Why do the ones I care about not care back?
Why did god make me so ugly?
I wonder if I was made differently if people would care?
How come I keep blaming my family for my problems whe I just can't let go?
When is my nana going to die?
How is she going to die?
Whats going to happen to me when she dies?
When she dies will I finally get up the courage to end my life?
Why must I picture her dead body in many cruel ways?
Why do I wish someone will take my life so I don't have to do it myself?
Why can't I ever get stuck in a life or death situation and be killed?
Why do people judge me for my childish behavior?
Can't people see how loyal I'd be if they'd just give me a chance?
Why do I have such terrible trust issues?
Why do I only trust Debrah and Freya?
Why do I always go for dumb ass douche bags?
Why can't sweet and caring guys see the good in me?
How come they wont ever take the chance?
There's plenty more where that came from but for now I'm over tired and need sleep....
Why am i such a horrible person?
How come every time i care for someone they shoot me down?
What's the point of me living in life?
Why can't i get up the courage to kill myself?
Whats wrong with me?
Why can't i let go of my haunting past?
why can't anyone see me self torture?
How come I try for everyone else, but no one tries for me?
Why do so many people believe in love?
How come I always think bad thoughts about my loved ones?
Why was I beaten when I was younger?
Why do the ones I care about not care back?
Why did god make me so ugly?
I wonder if I was made differently if people would care?
How come I keep blaming my family for my problems whe I just can't let go?
When is my nana going to die?
How is she going to die?
Whats going to happen to me when she dies?
When she dies will I finally get up the courage to end my life?
Why must I picture her dead body in many cruel ways?
Why do I wish someone will take my life so I don't have to do it myself?
Why can't I ever get stuck in a life or death situation and be killed?
Why do people judge me for my childish behavior?
Can't people see how loyal I'd be if they'd just give me a chance?
Why do I have such terrible trust issues?
Why do I only trust Debrah and Freya?
Why do I always go for dumb ass douche bags?
Why can't sweet and caring guys see the good in me?
How come they wont ever take the chance?
There's plenty more where that came from but for now I'm over tired and need sleep....
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My Fav Song By Flyleaf
2 min read
"Circle"
Circle encircles the earth
Chance and choice break his heart
His innocent arm moves to save me and I am spared
His beautiful arm
Is bloody and cut off
His heart ripped out to show me he loved me
But I would not believe him
He did all that he could
I still would not believe him
I left his arms empty and tied
Outstretched for me until he died
Left his arms empty and tied
Outstretched for me until he died
No man shows greater love
Than when a man
Lays down his life
For his beloved
I left his arms empty and tied
Outstretched for me until he died
Left his arms empty and tied
Outstretched for me until he died
Here I'm alive
And I don't have the right
He gave me the right
Costing him his life
New mercies in the morning
I believe
What if I believe you now
Could it ever change this heart
Forgive me, believe me
Please come back tonight
I believe
What if I believe you now
Could it ever change this heart
Forgive me, believe me
Please come back tonight
Come back to my life
I believe
What if I believe you now
Forgive me, believe me
Please come back tonight
Circle encircles the earth
Chance and choice break his heart
His innocent arm moves to save me and I am spared
His beautiful arm
Is bloody and cut off
His heart ripped out to show me he loved me
But I would not believe him
He did all that he could
I still would not believe him
I left his arms empty and tied
Outstretched for me until he died
Left his arms empty and tied
Outstretched for me until he died
No man shows greater love
Than when a man
Lays down his life
For his beloved
I left his arms empty and tied
Outstretched for me until he died
Left his arms empty and tied
Outstretched for me until he died
Here I'm alive
And I don't have the right
He gave me the right
Costing him his life
New mercies in the morning
I believe
What if I believe you now
Could it ever change this heart
Forgive me, believe me
Please come back tonight
I believe
What if I believe you now
Could it ever change this heart
Forgive me, believe me
Please come back tonight
Come back to my life
I believe
What if I believe you now
Forgive me, believe me
Please come back tonight
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